Q: How is Italy like the Chicago Bears?

A: They both still suck.

In an attempt to generate some new content, we're gonna reuse some old content. Recently we had another go-round on the old Axis & Allies Global battlefield, so it's time for a few quick ruminations on what went down.

1) In an astoundingly bad play by Havoc Jack commanding UK Europe, the UK was left nearly undefended and overran by an amphibious Nazi invasion. The next turn Germany invaded Russia. After feinting towards Leningrad and handily defeating a Red Army counterattack, the Wehrmacht swung south into the richer lands of the Ukraine, headed towards Stalingrad.

2) After negotiating a five-turn ceasefire with Russia, Japan launched an all-out assault on the US on the first turn. After successfully taking both Hawaii and the Philippines, as well as a daring sweep into Alaska, the Japanese offensive bogged down while battling UK Pacific. This was entirely due to a foolish decision on my part to allow UK Pacific to collect the African IPCs of UK Europe, although I was swayed by a Churchill quote, that wily old bastard.

3) While the American counterattack was defeated, the Axis were not able to build up quickly enough to overcome the American income, and thanks to a slightly problematic purchase for Japan that didn't protect the home island enough the US was able to take Japan for a split. (After about the second round we had to break for the day and picked it up on a second day at which we engaged the UK Pacific collecting African IPC rule.)

4) Italy still sucks. During the first round, the Italian fleet had as good a chance as it would ever have to overcome the British fleet, and failed to roll a four in three consecutive rounds. The remaining fleet and air force were unable to drive the British remnants out, and later a newly built Italian fleet failed miserably at defending itself, as well as the Italian army being hammered by an extremely lucky British defense. Given the final outcome of the game, I can't say that it was Italy's fault this time, but had they done better it might have drawn more US interest and/or allowed them to put auxiliary pressure on Russia.